As you probably gathered from the last entry, I’m a huge fan of superheroes. DC, Marvel, indie shit like Invincible, it doesn’t matter, I love it all. I’m also a massive fan of Star Wars and its affiliations – the stories of the extended adventures of Han and Chewie also gets my goose cookin’. Throw in a healthy mix of Greek and Norse mythology/history and hoo boy, you’ve got me against the ropes in terms of interest. I’m powerless against all of it.
By all accounts though, none of the aforementioned subjects are historically known as objects or subjects of complete sex appeal. Most women aren’t going to drool as you talk about that one time that Captain America was worthy enough to pick up Mjolnir. Or when Odysseus fired an arrow through axe heads to win his wife, kid, and throne back (trust me, I’ve tried, and have watched as the life left the poor girl’s eyes. Sometimes I dream that it was a violation of the 8th Amendment to put her through that verbal onslaught). I talked briefly about the danger of idolizing badasses in the last entry, and how it can negatively impact your opportunities for fruitful encounters in the dating game. Especially if it doesn’t mesh well with your personality.
However, this is one of those cases where idolizing a strong figure will always come in handy. Commonly taught (but rarely heeded), is the simple advice of straightening your back. No one has ever looked at a man or woman with shitty posture and said, “ooo stay that way, you’re looking hot!” Most of our favorite people, especially those we admire greatly, will either consciously or unconsciously hold themselves in “power poses.” Superman holds his shoulders back, and we all love standing like him. Clark Kent doesn’t hold his shoulders back, puts some glasses on, messes with his hair, and it’s considered a secret identity because no one would believe that Superman would have a rounded spine.
Besides the medical reasons, aka not being a slave to a shitty back for the rest of your life, there’s a surprising amount of research that correlates posture to increases of attractiveness. And I’m not talking about peacocking – strutting your stuff like a walking romantic comedy jock asshole stereotype (here’s to you Kenny, ya dick). I’m talking about simply taking a moment, and being consciously aware of where your shoulders are.
The power of posture
Posture and being acutely aware of how it’s being held, is crucial to success in the social game. Not even necessarily for you becoming more attractive – which you will be, but more so because of how you and your brain behaves toward yourself when you stand straight.
There have been dozens of studies conducted over several decades that have confirmed the direct correlation between posture and confidence. These studies have also gone as far as showing that posture has a direct effect on mood. That a person who holds themselves upright will generally let negative comments slide off more easily, and let internal/external positive reinforcement manifest within themselves. People who slouch, biologically put themselves into a more “fetal position.” This is where they feel the most vulnerable, or can even feel worthless in extreme contexts.
So it’s no coincidence that standing straight like the Man of Steel will seriously improve your chances of finding – or even better – attracting your Lois Lane.
The gist is this: human beings have always had a complex associating power with height. The larger the stature, the more intimidating or powerful a person or a thing seems. Mammoths were scary because they were so large compared to our paleolithic brethren. Mice, not so much, considering we can boot one a solid 100 yards with a decent kick (don’t try this at home, kids). It’s evolutionary to believe the taller of the species is the one in charge, or the one that deserves to be. Standing with your shoulders back and spine straight will make you seem taller, and ergo, feeling stronger about yourself. It’s as simple as that.
Much like smiling, good posture is an instantaneous and barring a medical condition, an easy ass fix. It’s a constant work in progress, to be sure, but remind yourself of the importance of a straight back with even phone notifications, a post it note, or a tattoo on your forehead. Remember that positive posture begets positive emotions, which is a crucial component to social success.
You have a lot to offer, but you’re holding yourself back by believing that your negative aspects are the dominant ones. Start yourself on the right foot, stand up straight, and watch the confidence flow.
Making a person feeling good about you starts with you treating your own person as best you can. All the rest follows easily. So throw your shoulders back, stand straight, and own whatever room you walk into.
Brinol, Pablo, et al. “Body Posture Effects on Self-Evaluation: A Self-Validation Approach.” European Journal of Social Psychology, vol. 39, 25 Feb. 2009, pp. 1053–1064., doi:10.1002/ejsp.607.
Elsesser, Kim. “Power Posing Is Back: Amy Cuddy Successfully Refutes Criticism.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 4 Apr. 2018, http://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2018/04/03/power-posing-is-back-amy-cuddy-successfully-refutes-criticism/#7aa82aab3b8e.